ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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