I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
