I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
