She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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