shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
