The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
