I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
