My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
