she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
