so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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