careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
