i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
