you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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