I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I could fuck to npr.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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