Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
