im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My penis needs a shock collar
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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