i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
