I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
