oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
