I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
