I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
