He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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