My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
