How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
