Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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