I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There r osticjed everywhere
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
