sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
