We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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