If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
