do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
