But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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