Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
