What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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