Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
