im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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