Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
