Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
