Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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