I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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