can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If that was your dad, he is hot
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
