My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
