if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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