what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
