we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
