i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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