he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
