I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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