dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
BRING THE BAGELS
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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