Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
