Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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