Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
